The Demon of the Navy
by Sl4p
Summary: Shunned away by his own family, Naruto gets adopted by a certain vice admiral and joins the navy. AU, tons of swearing. Strong Naruto, Smart Naruto. Naruto doesn't hold the Kyuubi. !Vote on the poll or leave a comment what his power should be!
1. CH 1: Lost and Found

A/N: Well, here we go. Another Naruto x-over with One Piece. This idea has been ghosting around my head for a while now so I called the ghost busters. *badum tss* (Bad joke, I know... Sue me :P) However I finally got a grasp on it and worked out a little plotting for the future and stuff, so I simply couldn't finish my update for the other fic I have written. In case any readers of that other fic decided to look in on this one, I officially apologize, but with work and a second story I won't be able to keep up with my initial hope of weekly updates. I am glad I never actually made a schedule...

This will be my new story. I will not start at the beginning of Naruto's life so after the A/N will be a small recap on the what, who, where and why. Just know that in this fic, Naruto will have one foul mouth, so much so that if this had a swear filter for stories it would break.

Updates will come once a month at least, if I get a chap done I will post it asap though. Same goes for "The Demonic Chef".

This story is sorta an AU story. The timeline will be altered a bit though overall the events are the same.

With that all said, that is enough bullshit from me for now, enjoy this first chapter.

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Naruto Uzumaki-Namikaze, son of Minato Namikaze, Yondaime Hokage and Yellow Lightning, and Kushina Uzumaki, the Red Hot Habanero or Red Death of Konohagakure, was born in early summer, the night of the summer solstice, just after midnight, the 22nd of June. 6 years before the attack of the Kyuubi and the birth of his sister and brother. When Naruto had turned 4, his parents started training with him, Kushina more so since Minato had to fight the immortal demon, named 'Paperwork'. They both soon realized though that Naruto had a major problem, being unable to produce chakra willingly, (like Rock Lee) he was thus not only unable to use ninjutsu, genjutsu and worst of all, for moth of them, fuinjutsu, but through this completely unsuitable to be either of their clans' heir. Kushina was ashamed and Minato thought him a disgrace. Even his taijutsu was mediocre at best. The only thing he showed some sort of talent in was kenjutsu but they wouldn't train their son to me a samurai, nor could they tolerate him as such. When the day of the Kyuubi attack came as well as the birth oh his children, twins, Minato used his and Kushina's knowledge in fuinjutsu to split the demon into two halves, yin and yang so to speak, and sealed them into the baby boy and girl. When the twins turned old enough they were checked up to see if they were also unable to use chakra but they were alright. When training started for them, they soon showed to be fast learners even in chakra control, so when Naruto turned 11, they decided to 'get rid of the nuisance' that was their first son, sending him into an orphanage away from the village and naming their almost 5 years old son the heir of their respective clans.

This is where the story of young Naruto starts, after 2 years in the orphanage in a small port town near the capital, where the daimyo of the fire nation lives. Naruto is now 13, it is the day of his birth.

Naruto was currently running from a shopkeeper, holding a beautifully decorated, gold-plated compass in his right and a silver pocket watch with a skull design that protrudes from the back of the watch with hollow eye sockets and what looks like a toothy grin in his left. The man following the boy was swinging a broom while constantly shouting things like "Stop the damn thief!" while Naruto just kept laughing and running. He lost the man after turning a few corners, still hearing him shout somewhere in the alleyways. "HAHAHAHAHA! You will never catch me! I will be the pirate king!", shouted Naruto before running off, out of the alleys and onto a big, busy street.

He had barely made his first step out of the alley before someone bumped into him, pushing him to fall back on his butt. The man stumbled a bit from the impact before catching himself. He grabbed Naruto by the collar of his shirt and soon the boy was lifted off the ground, kicking wildly and struggling against the firm grasp of the tall man. "Oi little brat, can't you watch where you are going!?" The mans voice boomed, even though the man wasn't actually shouting he was already louder then the entire street. Looking the man over with narrow eyes and a scowl, Naruto saw an older man with light gray hair and a goatee of the same color, a scar with stitches runs down next to his left eye. He wore a navy blue shirt with a light blue tie and white pants, a white jacket over that and a coat hung from his shoulders, also white but with red and black striped and golden accentuation. "Let go of me you wrinkly old bag!" There is a short silence, before suddenly a tick mark appeared on both their heads. Naruto however is the faster to start shouting again. "AND WHO THE HELL ARE YOU CALLING LITTLE YOU GIANT CU-" Naruto was cut off by a fist collided with the top of his head, not a second later a big, steaming bruise formed on his head. "WHAT DID YOU JUST WANT TO CALL ME YOU IMPERTINENT LITTLE SHIT?! AND WHO THE HECK ARE YOU CALLING OLD!?" "CALLING ME LITTLE AGAIN YOU GIANT CU-", Naruto shouted before he was cut off again, another steaming bruise swelling up on his head. "THAT'S IT BRAT, I'LL KICK YOUR ASS INTO THE NEW WORLD!" Both growled at each other when a man in a similar coat stepped up to them. He wore a dark gray hat along with his color matching suit and suit pants. His coat only differed in the accentuating colors, it had the same golden color but instead of red and black stripes there were blue accents. The man turned to look at the scene and sighed. "I leave you alone for just one minute and you already pick a fight, sir... Well, at least you found an opponent that acts as mature as you. Did you really get in a fight with a ten year old?" "I'm thirteen, dickhead!" "Oi! Show some respect brat!" The older man shouted at Naruto, before turning to the man in the suit. "Hey Bogard, if he can swear like a sailor then he can take a beating like one! I raised three kids so I know what I am doing!" The now named Bogard shook his head before reminding the man of a tiny fact. "And how exactly did that turn out, oh wise mister Vice Admiral Garp, sir?" Garp grumbled. He was just about to retaliate when a huffing, old man with a broom came over. He stood in front of Garp, taking a deep breath like he wanted to say something, a finger raised, before bending over and steadying himself with his hands on his knees, breath ragged. Naruto could already feel the cold sweat running down his forehead when the man started speaking. "Th- *inhale* thanks for *inhale* catching this Kami forsaken thief, *inhale* s-sir!" He was still breathing heavily. Garps eyes fell onto the shiny objects in the boys hands before looking him over. His clothes were cheap, numerous holes and patches all over it. The boy himself looked pretty meager and small for a boy of thirteen years. "Where are your parents, boy? Didn't they teach you some manners?" "Oh, haha, make fun of the orphan. What is this, did I miss the memo that today is the official 'act like a cun-' ACK!" Once again, before finishing the word, Naruto was silenced by a fist on his head. Garp grabbed the compass and the watch from him and looked them over. Naruto started kicking wildly, trying to escape while the old man was distracted, which led to a stray kick hitting the man. Now even though Naruto was a lot stronger then his build would suggest, Garp was a lot stronger and pretty tough. Because of this, both other men had a shocked expression on their face when the giant of a man suddenly fell to his knees, eyes open wide. Naruto easily got out of Garp's grasp now and ran off into an alley. Getting over the initial shock, the vendor shouted after the boy, telling him to stay so he could face the consequences.

-With Garp-

Garp was on his knees, one hand shooting to his precious Crown Jewels. "M-m-my b-b... MY BALLS!" His pain filled wail, high pitched from the attack on his virility, was heard in the entire city and men all over the elemental nations put their hands protectively in front of their precious reproductive organs, all having the same thought. 'Something awful just happened...' Meanwhile, Garp was gasping for breath, it took him almost ten minutes to get it together enough to stand, though only with the help of both Bogard and the old vendor. They carried him to the vendors shop and propped him onto a chair. It took the poor man almost half an hour until he could speak normal again, though that was hard to actually say because Garp had fallen asleep randomly after a few minutes of sitting. When he woke up again, his voice was as booming and deep as ever. "Bogard, get the crew and look for the brat! I want him on my ship before we head back to the headquarters tomorrow!" Bogard sweat dropped. "Why do you want the boy on the ship? You won't do anything stupid will you?" Garp stayed silent for a minute, looking at the compass and the pocket watch the boy had stolen. He opened them both. The compass had a small logport built into the lid. The pocket watch had a visible clockwork, though there was no way to wind it and it wasn't working apparently. Seeing the confused look onto the watch, the vendor chuckled. "I see you have a good eye, this is a special clock. It's power source has similar properties to a Vivre Card. The clock only works as long as its owner is alive. All that is needed is a drop of blood into the skulls mouth." Garp grinned. "I buy them both." The man had beli-signs on his eyes, getting the boxes the clock and the compass had been placed in and Garp handed over the money. Bogard looked at him with surprise. "I will train that little shit until his arms and legs fall off! When I am done with him, he will be a stronger marine then I am! HAHAHAHAHA- *Snore*" In the middle of his laughter, Garb fell asleep, a snot bubble hanging out of his nose, in- and deflating with his ex- and inhaling. Bogard sweat dropped, a shocked expression on his face before shaking his head in disbelief. 'Sometimes I can't believe that THIS is not only our captain, but also a VICE GENERAL of the Navy! How can someone like this be-' His thought was interrupted by a popping noise, followed by laughter. After waking up, Garp just continued where he had stopped. "Why are you still here?! I said 'get the boy!", he said after he had stopped laughing and realized that Bogard had yet to move. He walked towards the exit of the store, followed by his right hand man, but instead of using the door, he ran straight to the wall between the door and a window. Bogard could only face palm at this and let out an exasperated sigh. Garp turned around. "Oh, also tell them to repair the wall, please..." Bogard's eyebrow twitched violently before he finally blew up. "WE ARE MARINES, NOT YOUR PERSONAL HANDYMEN! IF YOU CAN'T USE A DOOR THEN DON'T MAKE US FIX THE WALLS FOR YOU!" "Now, now, who is the vice general?" "YOU WILL AT LEAST HELP!" Garp sighed. "Alright, alright. I stars fixing the wall and you get the others, I just need a few to help me. The rest will look for the boy and bring him to the ship. Alive, if possible! Hahahahahaha!"

-With Naruto, 5 hours later-

Naruto was good, but not that good. A giant load of marines had swarmed the small city. He had managed to stay out of sight for quite a while, 3 hours almost, but after sneaking into the sleeping room in the orphanage to get some things, namely his knife, which had once belonged to a traveling merchant, a book about the four blues and its islands and, last but not least, he sneaked into the kitchen to get some food. But when he left the kitchen, he stood in front of a group of marines and after a moment of staring at each other, he tried to make a run for it. His escape was cut short though and after speaking with the headmistress as well as signing some paperwork, they had brought Naruto onto a huge marine ship and locked him into Garp's cabin, with Garp. They just sat there in silence, staring, or in Naruto's case rather glaring, at one another until Naruto finally gave in and looked away. "What do you want from me, old man? If you want an excuse for mashing your balls, you won't get one." Garp laughed. "You are a thick headed brat, and you got guts! Well, long story short, I adopted and force-recruited you as a marine! Congrats for joining the Navy!" "W-what! Hey, you can't just force me into the Navy! Are you senile or something?!" "HA! I am your father now! Show some respect!" "Pff, you wish, gramps." Naruto muttered. "I HEARD THAT, BRAT! NOW GET ON THE DECK, I WILL TRAIN YOU UNTIL YOU HAVE SOME RESPECT, EVEN IF I HAVE TO BEAT IT INTO YOUR BRAIN!"

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A/N: So, this is somewhat an introduction. Basically, Naruto gets adopted by Garp and involuntarily joins the Navy. There will be time skip until Naruto has finished his training and the marine school and then he will be assigned to a captain to get some experience, probably as ensign, though I am not entirely sure yet. I will set up a poll for the captain he will be assigned to. You can also leave suggestions as a comment.

Also, as always, tell me what you liked and what I can do better. I am still new to this whole writing thing and feedback is always helpful as well as encouraging! See you all hopefully for the next chapter!


	2. CH 2: Extracurricular Activity

A/N: Well, sorry for the long wait. I had some trouble writing after an accident where all the stuff I had already written was deleted, an almost done chapter 2 of this story and a half done chapter for my other story. I gave them a proper grace, then had a mourning period and was quite frustrated with the hard work gone... I eventually pulled myself together and finished this chapter on one evening turned night. Hope you like v2 of chapter 2!

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Navy academy was... Well, for the lack of better words to describe it, having its ups and downs. Naruto wasn't his original hyperactive and generally unfocused self with the attention span of a goldfish.

That was a luxury he couldn't afford anymore after his parents had decided he was unworthy, a lesson he had learned over time in a painful way.

The saying "only the strong survive" wasn't that wrong. Now, the obvious question would be: "What does all that have to do with strength?" Though if you think about it a second, it would be quite obvious. Being unfocused and unable to concentrate holds several disadvantages, like not being able to plan even a single step ahead.

The consequence of BEING able to concentrate on something though is quite simple. If you are focused on a fight you can figure out strengths and weaknesses, both your own and the other person's/persons'. You can make decisions faster like 'block or evade?' and even predict the trajectory of an attack to do so.

The other consequence is theft you can learn faster. Much faster. Because often, the pen is mightier then the sword. Or rather, words in general, written or spoken. Knowledge is power.

He was quite glad that he was more concentrated and focused now. These traits had not only helped him survive in a cruel world, they also allowed him to grow from everything it threw at him. Like the Navy academy.

As he had been, he would have probably failed several times and ended up as a janitor or something. But as he was now, he did very well. Most classes, he scored well above the average.

The only actual exception being history, which was the result of the teachers lectures being as exciting as watching grass grow. It was almost like the man ate a devils fruit, his voice had the same effect as a hand full of narcotics mixed with another hand full of opiates. But with the help of a fellow student, the library and a shipload of coffee, he even got the history class on an average level.

After the first year in the academy, it was decided that Naruto should take the harder classes. With his intellect, physical strength and fighting prowess, resulting from his training with Garp, he was one of the few people among his fellow students that were suited to join the elite of the navy, starting at the rank of ensign. Of course, it was still a rather low rank, but then again it was already well above the normal marine members. Starting from the rank of ensign, people were not only allowed to wear the 'justice coats' but also had permission to not wear an uniform, even though there was an unwritten rule to wear it anyways for official occasions. Today was one of those.

After the years of training and learning in the academy, additional learning with a girl called Tashigi, who was the only other person in the advanced classes with him, and almost daily visits at the library, coupled with personal training with Garp and his crew to improve his speed, strength and situational as well as environmental awareness, it was finally time. Time to let the dogs out... Ehm, the rookies. But first, a ceremony, as it was custom.

Right now, the new batch of rookies stood in the wide, open area I front of the base's main building, a boring man giving a boring speech about all of them being the future of justice, bla, bla, bla, etc. and numerous giggles were heard from the crowd, as well as a growl. Said growl coming from one Naruto Uzumaki Namikaze, or rather Monkey D. Naruto, since he was legally adopted by Garp he had decided to accept his family name.

Despite the constant fighting, they did get along quite well, they could have actually been blood relatives. Both had heads hard as steel, both could have outbursts of any kind, falling asleep in random situations, all that stuff.

Well, back to the original topic. Everyone had attended to the ceremony in their new uniforms. Everyone but Naruto. The blond was wearing a jumpsuit, mainly colored a bright, eyeball melting orange, practically screaming "KILL ME!"

Naruto didn't really like the white and blue navy uniform, he really liked orange on the other hand, it was his favorite color.

Nevertheless, this jumpsuit he was wearing right now was way over the top. Even he could not call the item in question clothing. He wished he had not taken the bet that led to him wearing THIS. It was not clothing, it was MADNESS! But, as a man of his word, he took the jokes, stares and giggles like a man, albeit with a growl, hence the opera of snide comments, giggles, laughs, and Naruto as the tenor.

After the speech, they all were given their new assignments, most were assigned to stay at the base or other bases, few actually qualified to work under a captain.

Tashigi seemed quite excited as Naruto noted, so after congratulating her, he went to get his sheet but was in for a surprise.

The man simply told him to go meet Vice Admiral Garp. It seemed odd to Naruto but he just guessed he would work under the old fart. At the thought, he could have sworn he heard a faint "I AM NOT OLD!" coming from somewhere within the building. It was like the man had a seventh sense for stuff Naruto thought or said, even if he was nowhere close to him.

So, following the order, Naruto went to find his adoptive father -more like grandpa- and had no trouble doing so, seeing as he almost bumped into him when he entered the main building.

"Are ya ready, kid?" Naruto just looked at the giant in front of him.

"Aye aye, captain!"

"I can't hear you!"

"Oh, haha, real funny. I knew you were old, but I didn't think you were loosing your hearing already." Naruto said with a smirk on his face. To his surprise, Garp didn't start shouting about not being old or still having the flames of youth. Actually, he never heard Garp saying anything about flames of youth... He looked up into the sky.

[Flashback]

Naruto was still young, around age 7, when he heard noises close to the Namikaze compound. They came and went by in a matter of seconds, before it recurred after a couple of minutes. After over an hour of this, he heard shouts. It started with a faint "uuuuuu" but as the noise came closer, it quickly turned into a loud shout.

"YOUTH! YOUTH! YOUTH! YOUTH!

YOUTH! YOUTH! YOUTH! YOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuu-" was all Naruto could hear from his room. He had long ago his under his bed, hoping it would finally be over, just when-

"UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTH!" "Please... Gai... Mer-mer... cy." This was a new voice, sounding like it had no energy, utterly drained by that monster he apparently named 'Gai'. "NO, MY ETERNAL RIVAL! TONIGHT WE SHALL SETTLE ONCE AND FOR ALL WHOSE FLAME OF YOUTH BURNS BRIGHTER!" After that, a long groan was just barely audible, originating from the second voice, then a loud *CRACK*, followed by the faintest of whimpers.

[Flashback over, back to reality]

Naruto couldn't help the shiver running down his spine, he wasn't a man of many fears but this event had left him with a slight childhood trauma resulting in a fear of ghosts. Of course he knew/believed they didn't exist. He just couldn't get over it...

Naruto was snapped out of his memory when he was lifted off the ground by his collar.

"Oi, kid, I am talking to you!"

"Yeah, yeah." Naruto waved his hand dismissively. "So, guess I was assigned to you?"

Garp grinned at this.

Well, yes. And no."

Naruto didn't like this. Something about Garp's grin seemed off. Malevolent even. It promised pain.

"Let's get going!" With those words, Garp walked off and after a second, Naruto followed.

Naruto was now back in his usual clothes, consisting of a hoody in black, with an orange zipper at the front and the pockets, but now with the kanji for 'justice' printed on the back. Under that was a crimson t-shirt with the words 'Fuck you' in black and a hand flipping the bird printed onto it. His pants were black and baggy and his shoes were casual, somewhat sporty, black and white with bright orange laces. Horizontal on his lower back was a tsurugi (he is carrying it like Itachi does with his tanto), a double bladed, straight short sword the length of a dagger or tanto, around 30cm of blade and a bit over 10cm of handle without a guard, hidden by his hoody, and a saber at his side, the blade roughly 70cm and the handle as long as the tsurugi's but it had a guard, starting right under the blade, going down in a curve to encase the entire handle at the front, connecting with it at the bottom. It looked like it came out of the forge just like that, with just a strip of rough leather wrapped around the steel.

[A/N: The descriptions all suck, I know that. For those of you that use the imperial instead of the metric system, I pity you. Also, an inch is 2.54cm, so enjoy the maths. I have some pictures for reference on my profile (I hope I can figure out how, I post from my mobile so I have to cry every time I try to do anything... Can't access my profile or post on the mobile version so I have to switch to the desktop version and that sucks with the small screen.)]

Naruto was staring out into the open sea. This never ceased to amaze him. The vast amount of blue water, the small waves, the slight rocking of the ship, the salty breeze, the sound of the waves when the ship cut through them. This was nothing you could find in Konoha. This was the reason that he had decided he would become a pirate when he was in the orphanage. And it was also the reason why he accepted being put into the navy, not that he was asked... It was... calming. Enjoyable.

The ship eventually came to a halt, there was a small island on the horizon. It confused Naruto a bit, there was nothing but the small island anywhere close, but it was too far away to take a small boat to get over there. Was this some crazy fishing trip? Nah, Garp wasn't senile yet, was he? Who would go on a 3 day journey for a fishing trip? Especially if said journey started on an island?

"So, ready kid?" Garp asked with a face splitting grin.

"Stop calling me kid, I am almost 18 now."

"Still a kid to me."

"That's because you are so old that everyone on this ship is a kid compared to you." Naruto deadpanned. Ouch. That hurt. Garp face planted at the verbal cheap shot, laying face down with an aura of depression hanging over him, before getting up like nothing happened, shouting at Naruto.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING OLD, GNOME!"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A GNOME, WRINKLED GIANT!"

Their heads collided, sparks visibly shooting in between their eyes.

In safe distance to the two, Bogard and a miscellaneous marine watched the whole spectacle.

"Aaaaaand they are at it again." The marine chuckled.

"They are just to alike I guess."

Just as he finished his reply, Bogard spectated as both men suddenly fell asleep in the middle of their argument, with Garp holding Naruto by his collar, the boys feet dangling in the air. Burg men's face a peaceful expression and a bubble coming from their nose, inflating and deflating in tact with their breath. When they both woke up, Garp asked, "You ready?" but without waiting for an answer or giving a warning, he cocked his arm back, Naruto still gripped by his collar, and then tossed him full power towards the island.

"I NEVER SAID YES!" shouted the airborne Naruto.

"GOOD LUCK TRAINING, WE COME GET YOU IN A MONTH OR SO!" shouted Garp back, before there was a huge cloud of dust, likely from Naruto's impact with the ground...

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A/N: Hope you enjoyed the chapter! As you see, I haven't put Naruto in with any captain or higher ranked... I will do that sometime between chapters 3 and 4, his devils fruit will come some time later. Just a little reminder, the poll is still up on my profile. See y'all next time!


	3. CH 3: Welcome to the Training Camp

A/N: Well, another long wait but I hope you like the chapter. I wanted to thank you guys, there is an absolutely stunning response (for me at least), didn't think there would be so much interest in this story. Over 100 favs and even more follows as well as almost 30 reviews are maybe just a small step for fanfic but a big step for me.

Anyways, I decided to answer a few reviewers questions.

Raremist98: Yes, he will meet at least some of his blood relatives further in the story.

Guest: Yes, I plan to continue the story, sadly I don't always have the time to get some chapters done and I am a fairly lazy person so it can take some time to get updates going.

Wahyubison: 1. Likely

2\. Unsure about this, but probably

3\. No. Definitely no.

TiberSeptim: He will definitely meet them but not all too soon, since the poll as it is right now will set Naruto up with Aokiji who has no contact with the straw hats until the Vivi arc of I recall right and even there he goes alone.

Uzumaki no Rinne-Sennin: Yes, yes I do. I just didn't think of it, I am fairly new to writing still, though that is no excuse. I will fix the paragraphing in ch1 some time, too.

Other Guest: I don't see your problem. I think I made that part clear in the summary so I guess you just came in here to flame, because reasons. Anyways, I do not believe that Naruto's parents would do something like that in the manga/anime. But you can't know. They died before anything like that could happen. And most importantly, it is a fanfic. If I wanted, Naruto's parents could be Zetsu and Pain in a gay relationship and one got the other pregnant. A fanfic is always a writers version of the original stories' universes. You don't have to like it, but you should think before writing smart ass comments.

To all the other reviewers a big thank you for the mostly positive feedback. I hope you keep enjoying the story. I have pretty much decided on Naruto's powers already, thanks to the-Contradiction for suggesting a great Devils fruit.

Whew, what a long author's note. Before I start the story, I wanted to mention my authors.

Jinx777

Dracohalo117

They have some really awesome stories you can enjoy while waiting for me to update :P

Well then, let's go. And as always, enjoy!

"You ready?"

Suddenly, Garp swung Naruto behind his back before tossing Naruto with incredible force.

"I NEVER SAID YES!"

Faintly, over the air rushing in his ears, the airborne Naruto heard Garp's shout that they'd come back some time later.

'This takes surprisingly long' Naruto thought. 'I wonder how close to the island I will land... Garp-jiji is strong, but could he throw me far enough that I will land close to the island? How far did I fly already? It shouldn't take much longer, I should probably get ready to dive in, wouldn't want to make a belly splash.'

With that final thought, Naruto got ready. Eyes closed, arms over the head, ready to dive into the water with grace.

Only to make contact with hard ground. Followed by a few trees. Ending in the side of a small mountain. The resulting dust cloud must have been visible for miles...

Naruto had made himself comfortable, his head lodged inside the rock of the mountain with his body limbless hanging down. After a minute, a groan could be heard, accompanied by random twitches of his body, proving he had miraculously survived the crash landing. About an hour later, Naruto had managed to pry his head out of the hole, coughing and spitting stones, wood and earth.

"*cough* F-fucking old asshole. *gag**cough* Where the hell am I!"

Naruto's only answer was silence, only broken by the occasional animal noises and the wind brushing through the leafs of the trees.

"Alrighty then, what do we have... Abandoned island? Check. Unknown location? Check. No food or drinks? Check. Wild animals? *Random animal screams* Check, I guess... Predators?"

And on cue, a fierce looking reptile broke through the bushes (and branches of the trees for that matter) out of the jungle. It was easily six times taller then Naruto and it was equipped with razor sharp claws and many, many pointed teeth.

It cocked it's head while eyeing Naruto like a little snack, before giving a bone rattling roar and starting a sprint towards aforementioned snack... Uhr, boy.

Keeping his calm and drawing his saber before giving one of the most overused and The most cursed one liner. "At least, it can't get any worse now."

.

.

.

"Why the fuck did I say that?! Now I jinxed it!"

In an almost paranoid way, Naruto glanced into all directions while still keeping an eye out for the dinosaurish beast charging at him. It was pretty close now, he got ready for a roll.

"Okay, just a bit more. Another bit. A little m-" *CRACK* *SPLATTER*

Naruto blinked once, twice, thrice. Where a second the huge reptile was, was now a foot. A big, human looking foot. The surprise wasn't the only reason for the blink though. The impact of the foot had utterly crushed the reptile, resulting in an unwanted, gory shower for Naruto, almost catching him in the eye and drenching his face.

"WHAT. THE. FUCK!"

"Huh? I could swear I heard someone yell..." A second foot appeared with a loud stomp. Naruto's eyes followed the foots movement, before tracing up, the leg, and up... And up... And up. After what seemed like a century, he saw...

"OH HELL NO! FUCK THIS SHIT, I'LL SWIM TO THE NEXT ISLAND!"

Omake

Deleted scene: Meeting the author

"Alrighty then, what do we have... Abandoned island? Check. Unknown location? Check. No food or drinks? Check. Wild animals? *Random animal screams* Check, I guess... Predators?"

Suddenly, the predator decides to drop his camouflage and becomes visible, weapons aiming at Naruto. Before it could fire however, a booming voice, seemingly coming from all around them, startled both of them.

"No, not you! He meant carnivorous animals that kill other animals, like tigers, wolfs, snakes and the kind!"

The predators head looked around, trying to locate the source of the voice.

"I said 'not you', did I not?" The voice booms again. "You have nothing to do with this fanfic even in the slightest! Now off, off with you into the inter-dimensional corner of shame!"

In a black swirl, a portal open a few steps away from the predator. The hunter alien plodded towards the portal, looking downcast. It's head hung low and there was a depressed aura surrounding it, plus dark cloud and rain. It looked back one last time before disappearing through the portal which closed rapidly behind it.

"Now, blondy-"

"The name's not blondy, it's Naruto! Monkey D Naruto! Get it in your head, dipshit!"

"Whatever you say, Monkey. As I was ab-"

"Hey, fucktard! It's Naruto! Na-ru-to!"

"Fuck it." Giant, black sunglasses appear in the sky, followed by a bright, white flash. "Listen. You never saw any aliens with futuristic weapon systems. Nothing happened so far from right after you said 'predators?'. You never heard my voice. And last but not least, you will stop swearing."

"I will not stop swearing." Naruto said in a monotone voice, eyes still pglazed over.

"Oh well, was worth a shot..."

There was a complete silence for a few moments before the island and Naruto came back to life.

"Well, haven't seen any yet, but it is very likely. Hmm."

A/N: Oh well, not as long as I hoped but the cliffhanger was a must have here (or rather, I have been somewhat brain dead for a few weeks now, this is what I had so far anyways...).

So, I gave a lot of hints about the island he is on. For those who figured it out, no he won't meet the straw head crew there, he is there way before the story arc that brings them there.

So, I am not giving up on this story, but I only get brain farts for some reason, I hope I'll get over with that soon. The omake was actually what I wrote in the chapter, so you see how bad it is. Wish me luck, hopefully I'll get the next chapter done this century.


End file.
